AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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