you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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