so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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