I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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