I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
