Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
