My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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