Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
