it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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