We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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