how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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