I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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