as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
