im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
