no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
