No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
