apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
