I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
