I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
