She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
