these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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