So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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