i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
