words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
