thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
