No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
how drunk are you?
Several
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
