We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
