dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
