have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
