Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I lost the right to judge tonight
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
