sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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