guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
