I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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