Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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