that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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