WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think I died a long time ago.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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