We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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