nut hugger
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
