whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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