I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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