Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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