8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize