were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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