Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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