She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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