Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
