I'm going to rape someone's good day.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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