barbara walters just said penis...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
