get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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