just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
