I should be sponsored by Trojan
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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