SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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