u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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