he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
