he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
