i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
