Just mADE A PArabola og urine
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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