the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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