Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
