ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
