She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Couch. On fire.
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