everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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